Little Miss Perfect

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I switched on the TV a couple of nights ago, looking for something for myself and my son to watch together, and was stopped in my tracks by a show with a bunch of little girls dressed up like Barbie dolls.

Intrigued, I watched a bit. It turns out that these little girls, dressed in heels and more make-up then I've ever possessed, are being paraded around by their mothers in the name of some weird child beauty pageant thing.

Of course, it's pretty obvious that I'm gonna be dismayed - I run a website that campaigns against the objectification of people, but surely I can't be alone in thinking that parading little girls around like this can't be right?

Of course, there will be those parents who cry, "But my little girl wants to do it! She loves it!" And that there's nothing wrong with a little healthy competition.

I would answer quite simply that, no, there's nothing wrong with a little healthy competition, when that competition is based around demonstrating a skill or a talent.

My ten year old son is a keen golfer. Currently studying for his gold YMG (young master's golf) award, he has worked hard and had much fun to get to where he is.

He has reason to be proud, and enjoys the game and the camaraderie as much as the competitive element.

I think the key here as far as the competitive element is concerned, is that it's great when the competition is based on something that can be learned and improved on. This is consistent with my beliefs about discipline - I always focus on my child's behaviour when I am telling him off or guiding him. This way he knows that he himself is not 'bad' and that it is something he is doing, rather than 'himself,' that he needs to alter.

There is a huge difference between saying to a child, "You are naughty" and "You are being naughty." The former leaves the child no option other than to accept the fact that there is no hope - he is naughty, has always been naughty and is condemned forever to be naughty. Therefore he may as well not bother to try to be good.

The latter, as it focuses on current behaviour, leaves clear room for improvement, and gives the child a feeling of control and responsibility for his or her actions.

There is a clear parallel here with regards to the competition thing. These young girls are entering competitions where they are judged on something over which they have no control - their physical appearance.

They are learning, at a tender age, that their success in life depends on whether or not they are 'prettier' than the girl next door, and on whether or not they have a hair out of place.

That to be accepted by our families and society we must smother ourselves in makeup, and wear a plastic smile and stilettos at all times.

Who in their right mind would want to teach their children that?